Why is everything about motherhood a competition? Even before having the baby, being pregnant and having the baby is a competition.
While I was pregnant I was extremely ill, for the whole pregnancy. To the point where I had to take drugs to help me though the whole day, AND night. It was exhausting. In the first trimester i thought i was going to die. I threw up so much that i lost too much weight. I was the smallest i had been for a long time. I went from about 52 kilos dropping to about 42!
It got better from about 6 months onwards. I started to feel a little human again. I still threw up everyday, and sometimes at night, but no where near as bad.
Then came time to have little G. And I can honestly say my birthing experience was fantastic. I look back on it and smile at how lucky I am. Walking down the hall of a birthing suite is frightening. All you hear is screaming, there are mother's to be pacing around wanting to get the baby the frick out! Not to mention midwives and doctors running around. When I got to my room, i was pooing myself. I was so scared of how this baby was going to come out! I had thought about this moment for a long long time. You can't help it when you are pregnant. This was the moment. After reading so many birthing stories online, i was finally having my own. I was having quite a good time, I was talking to my midwives, eating those lovely chocolate caramel eclairs to keep my energy up. I was even burning an essential oil i made, specially for the birth. Don't get me wrong, at one point, I was sucking down that gas like no tomorrow, but the truth is, the pain comes and goes. I had a shower trying to help ease the pain of contractions when one of them hit me so hard, I knew I needed a epidural ASAP. After that I went back to being calm, and chatty.
A neighbour that I know who is a mum, was so rude, and made me feel so bad that I had such a good labour, only 6.5 hours, told me out right, she hated women like me. This is not the only time this has happened. I dropped the baby weight the same week, while in hospital. It's not like I did anything. I wasn't up to it, I'd had stitches etc. I just ate and breastfed the baby the whole time there. I'm just lucky I guess. I was now told, by another mother, that I had to eat well if I'm breast feeding. I was very offended. The one thing I do well is eat! I love food. I also like to walk and do yoga or meditation sometimes. I think I'm very healthy. I'm not a fitness freak at all, but I choose to look after myself through walking. I find it wonderful for mental health as well.
Why is it that when you look after yourself, your told you are not healthy? I pride on looking after myself and my husband. I strive to make us healthy balanced meals most of the time and enjoy doing so! Of coarse I love to bake, so a cupcake or slice of banana bread doesn't go astray either! I personally think it is all about balance. What's life with out icing??? I am sick to death of making excuses and not being able to be honest and be myself, for fear of being so harshly judged.
Don't even get me started on the whole breast feeding vs formula. We all know how important breastfeeding is, that is much better than formula. I breastfeed little G, but every now and then she gets formula. For me breastfeeding was excruciating in the first 4 weeks. I was crying all the time in agony.
I would rather go through labour over and over if it meant I didn't have to feel that pain again! Now it doesn't hurt at all, but it can be tedious. Sometimes the baby will sit there for 2 hours feeding! I feel chained to the couch. I find it difficult to go out with her, fearing that she'll need to eat, when I can't feed her. I'm not comfortable feeding her in public, mostly cause other people make you feel dirty. I would always cover up, but haven't managed to get the whole public feeding down pat yet anyway. So I take a formula bottle with me just in case. So far we haven't needed to use it. I have found the mother's room's in Westfields' a God send!
Why do we always have to compete with one another?
Why can't we just support each other, and be happy with our children's achievements, no matter how small?