Sunday, October 23, 2011

Mother's Group

Whats the point of a mummas group??

I'm sorry, but I find it all a bit MEH. Dont get me wrong, I like the ladies in the group very much. But it feels like a massive cult, that you just have to join once you have a bub.

So many people, doctors, nurses and other mums, want you to be part of a group, and often encourage you to do so. I understand why. It is very healthy to get out and about as soon as you can. You want to feel normal and part of something. But, I don't know, I find it.....cultish? All sitting around, with big prams and/or bags and slings etc taking over huge sections of cafes, just to sit there for a couple hours on only a coffee???!!! I always want to order food, or something more substantial.

Maybe it's cause I used to work in my brothers cafe, I understand how the owners/proprietors feel.

And then on top of that, we only talk about our kids! I feel like I'm the only one that wants to talk about other things too, not just little G's sleeping pattern and poo's!

I'm also still uncomfortable with breast feeding her in public, but I have been persisting with it. We are just getting the hang of it too, I'm happy to say. I'm no where near as shy as I was.

And to the pervy guys in the cafe the other day, SHAME ON YOU!!!! That's all....

I read a very interesting post on the blog, Wife and Baggage to Follow, about leaving your baby OUTSIDE THE CAFE, in the pram!! This is not something I would be comfortable doing at all!  It freaks me out actually. 

Last week, I left little G with my mum for less than an hour, to have brunch with my hubby in Brasserie Bread. The whole time, I kept looking at my phone (hello my mother raised me, and I trust her with little G more than anyone, besides the hubby!!) But I still had that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I'd left something behind....Next time, I'd like to take little G, and if there is no room in a cafe, I'd be more than happy to leave the buggy outside ;)

24 comments:

  1. I was skeptical about the whole mothers group thing... I think I got a good one. We now as a proper organised thing meet on a Wednesday for lunch.
    The past week was at a pub where I know the owners and also the leasee...
    We all had drinks, lunch and coffees!
    We had our own seperate area in the cortyard too!
    We talk about lots more than just our babies, but its nice to have people that can Relate.
    Some of us will also randomly meet for coffee or at the park on any given day too!
    But like I said... I think I got a good group. I have heard many a horror story.
    Just lucky I guess :-)

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  2. Forgot to add... I can see why cafes and pubs etc... Can get annoyed when groups of women meet up, take over whole areas and only have one coffee... if they are going to do that they should get a take a way coffee and meet at the park.

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  3. Thats exactly what i think Sammie! Thanks for your comment :D

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  4. Wow guys stare when you breastfeed? That's rather offputting indeed! And I wouldn't leave a baby in a pram outside either.

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  5. I truly believe that our society needs to stop putting insane amounts of pressure on woman as to the "only correct" way to "be a mother". It's ridiculous, when each woman knows what suits her and her baby, what makes her comfortable, and what helps. I, too, would much rather spend time with friends/family who truly know and care about me, rather than a group of strangers who have been thrust together simply because of timing. If that makes sense?

    What I'm really trying to say is I wish I could tak eyou and Miss G out for a tea/coffee! :)

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  6. Yeah Lorraine, they do. Not ALL men but some scumbags do!

    This is exactly what I mean Hannah, I'm glad you understand. Who knows lovely, maybe one day we can meet up?? We would both love to go for tea! xo

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  7. Agree wholeheartedly. Am on kid 3 and have never done mother's groups. When I'm meeting up with other adults the last thing I usually want to talk about is how sleep deprived I am. That's what the internet is for right?

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  8. Hmmm hopefully the mothers group gets more interesting - I would have thought that mum's would WANT to talk about other things too! Maybe they do but they are all too scared & just think they SHOULD be talking only about poo?? Great work on feeling more comfortable breastfeeding in public. Just tell yourself that those pervy guys are really just curious...maybe they never got breastfed and they're jealous?...ok that just sounds weird. yep, they're perves :P
    Heidi xo

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  9. Trust me Heidi, not curious just CREEPY!

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  10. One day :) I'll be ordering the lemongrass and ginger tea! ;)

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  11. Sounds delicious Hannah! As long as we go somewhere that has delectable desserts, or super sweets your on!!! :)

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  12. Hi Leah,
    I just noticed you read my blog (www.wifeandbaggagetofollow.blogpot.com) and was a little taken aback that Danish families leave their babies outside. I have to say that I totally agreed with you when I first came to Denmark and it is still something I struggle with at times. But it is totally ingrained in their culture. I try to look at it in the way that they are lucky that they live in a country where it is still safe for children to be outside alone. I also think it is nice that women (and men) don't feel pressured to get 'takeaway' they can sit down and enjoy their coffee like everyone else.

    I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep it up.

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  13. It sounds like a cult… maybe you need a foodie mother's group! that way you can order food and perhaps talk about stuff other than POO!! :P xo

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  14. Thank you Miss H, i really enjoy your blog also! It would be lovely though to be able to have a sit down lunch or coffee, and not have to have takeaway coffee or food! If only we felt that 'safe' in our aussie culture.

    Shellie that is a wonderful idea!!!! Now, if only I could find like minded women here....

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  15. I still haven't gone to my allocated mother's group yet, I wanted to wait until she was at least 3 months. I also think as the 25yr old home waterbirther I'd be the odd one out so I'm not sure whether I'll end up going or not.

    And if I did I would defintely eat something! Thanks to breast feeding I have the appetite of a sumo wrestler...

    And :( for the men who perve - I have yet to feel the awkwardness of public feeding but i'm prepared to do it for bubs like you do :)

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  16. I would say to try it at least once CC11, but it is all a bit weird to me. I dunno? a group of women thrust together after having kids? Your better off having lunch, coffee/tea with people that you know, who won't judge you, or make you feel weird about your choices. You might be lucky and find a really great group :D

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  17. Oh P.S How good is breastfeeding!!!! I have never eaten so much in my life!!! I can barely fit all the food on my plate lol!

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  18. You just described exactly how I feel about mothers' groups, and I'm not even a mum! Most of my close friends are mums, or currently pregnant, and I love hanging out with them and chatting about anything and everything, bubba-related or otherwise - I don't think any of them feel the need to congregate in an exclusive mums-club :D
    Btw, yay to bf'ing in public! I think that's so completely awesome. And if I'd been there, I would have roused on that creepy guy (something along the lines of "were you not breastfed for long enough as a baby, starey stareson!" comes to mind) xx

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  19. I wasn't keen on joining a mothers group but I did it anyway. Absolutely loved it. Met some great people and made some life-long friends. Thoroughly recommend!

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  20. That is wonderful H.S. Your lucky to have met such great people! I wish I'd had that also...

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  21. Hi Leah!
    Thanks reading my blog!
    So I hadn't really heard about Mothers Groups as Tallulah was a surprise baby and had no friends who had kids so I was like cool new friends! In Perth I think it depends on what suburb you live in because all the ladies in mine are likeminded! I love my ladies & we def talk non-baby things which I think is super! And you know I'd be friends with most of them if we didn't have babies which I think is a good thing! We tend to hang out at each others houses or get takeaway coffee and have picnics! Though sometimes we have lunch out which is also super but a group of babes can be pretty full on for everyone including us mums!

    I've also heard about competitive nightmare ones so I truly think its luck of the draw!

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  22. thanks for your comment Renee! i love your blog!!!

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