Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Last 3 Weeks




I have been feeling totally uninspired about blogging recently. I think it is mostly due to my feeling a little down, and over it!

See I have moved back to Sydney, with my hubby and little G, after a few years of moving around NSW and the ACT. This was meant to make everything better, but has failed dismally….

I stupidly thought coming back home would be a cure all for my loneliness. I feel worse now than I did before. Maybe it is cause I feel so ridiculously unsettled, and I’ve have had to move in with the In Laws…..!

Now, I wish I could say that it was wonderful and that we all get along. But I almost always feel like the weirdo outsider, that eats weird food and does all these weird things. I'm appalled that no one here eats tahini???!!! What is wrong with these people!!!! It is all meat and confit vegetables. I make my own stuff to eat, but I am constantly looked at like the skinny, which I certainly am NOT, underfed freak, who likes vege’s with their original colour, and not always tasting like chicken! Oh the joy’s of living with a European family….!

I am feeling so deflated before my most favourite time of the year, and I'm not too sure how to get out of this funk yet. I know I need to get out of this house. My Christmas spirit has left me, for the first time ever. The sad thing is, I know it’s my first Christmas as a mum. I can’t seem to muster the joy I usually feel this time of year. And after being put down so many times, I'm starting to think I'm a crap mum too now.

Hubby and I are waiting on the word, from his employer, about when and where we are going to move. This. Wait. Is. Killing. Me.

I desperately need to find MY place, where I belong, with my little family of coarse. Preferably with a little garden, so I can have tea and whatever I have baked in the sun. Oh and a place where my little Chucky would be welcome. Who the heck knows what is around the corner…..

16 comments:

  1. Are you anywhere near me? (Balmain) if you do and feel like a catch up and to get out of the house send me an email (samanthaolson79@gmail.com)

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  2. darling am so sorry
    you feel this way my heart breaks

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  3. Thanks Sammie, but im not really near you...But we can maybe still do a catch up in the near future!??? Thanks so much xo

    Nat, no need to be sorry, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. This will pass....xoxo the last thing I want to do is upset you :D

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  4. simple
    move to Melbourne.
    ill move

    happy leah + happy me = happy life haha

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  5. Melbourne is looking better and better Sophie.

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  6. Oh Leah this is so tough. I really feel for you, feeling this way. Such anticipation!!! Hopefully you don't have to wait too much longer. Try and find peace and happiness in your own bubble with you and your bub daily, and your hubby too. Know that you're not weird :) and that before you know it you'll be in your own place, feeling more fabulous than ever and bursting with happiness.
    Heidi xo

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  7. Thanks so much Heidi. This means a lot to me right now. I cannot wait for the day when we have finally settled xo

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  8. Awww I can totally relate! When you move around alot, "home" doesn't really feel like "home" anymore, and then you begin to wonder where on earth you will ever feel happy and settled again. Try to give it time, you will settle in again. The wait is always painfully excruciating, but there is an end to it eventually. Try to be strong. You are not a bad Mum, you (from what I've read anyway) seem to me to be an AMAZING Mum!

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  9. Thanks so much for your lovely comment Ali :D I really appreciate it xo

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  10. I can also relate, I think you need to find 'home' in yourself. I always enjoy distractions eg moving, but once things have settled down I realise that I'm back to square one. If I find a magic cure I'll let you know, I'm still chasing it :)

    Hugs xoxxo

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  11. I have done a bit of moving and i know that feeling of being displaced, i try and carve out a small rotuine for myself until i feel settled again. It will get better Sydney will sweep you along with it.

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  12. Thanks so much for your lovely comments itsanaddiction, and thelegaltart. I know i will eventually settle into a routine and things will seem so much better :D

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  13. Living with the inlaws - yikes! I feel for ya...
    And don't listen to any of their ridiculous judgements about you - like the saying goes, birds always pick at the best fruit :)

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  14. I know right CC11. Ive actually never heard that saying...But I like it! Thanks so much for your comment :D

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  15. Oh darling, I'm so sorry, and so sorry that I didn't see this post earlier! Moving, and moving to somewhere without an established support network of your own, is always hard, and you're doing so well at keeping your head above water. I deeply hope the next move will enable you to land on and find you own proud, firm feet, and until then please know that I, and all the others here, are ready with a virtual hug and a hoped-for cuppa (and a jar of tahini!) whenever you need someone to talk to. You'll get through this ickiness, and find ways to smile through and defeat the loneliness. I know you can, and will. xoxo

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  16. Thank you lovely Hannah your comment means so much to me

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