I have been feeling totally uninspired about blogging recently. I think it is mostly due to my feeling a little down, and over it!
See I have moved back to Sydney, with my hubby and little G, after a few years of moving around NSW and the ACT. This was meant to make everything better, but has failed dismally….
I stupidly thought coming back home would be a cure all for my loneliness. I feel worse now than I did before. Maybe it is cause I feel so ridiculously unsettled, and I’ve have had to move in with the In Laws…..!
Now, I wish I could say that it was wonderful and that we all get along. But I almost always feel like the weirdo outsider, that eats weird food and does all these weird things. I'm appalled that no one here eats tahini???!!! What is wrong with these people!!!! It is all meat and confit vegetables. I make my own stuff to eat, but I am constantly looked at like the skinny, which I certainly am NOT, underfed freak, who likes vege’s with their original colour, and not always tasting like chicken! Oh the joy’s of living with a European family….!
I am feeling so deflated before my most favourite time of the year, and I'm not too sure how to get out of this funk yet. I know I need to get out of this house. My Christmas spirit has left me, for the first time ever. The sad thing is, I know it’s my first Christmas as a mum. I can’t seem to muster the joy I usually feel this time of year. And after being put down so many times, I'm starting to think I'm a crap mum too now.
Hubby and I are waiting on the word, from his employer, about when and where we are going to move. This. Wait. Is. Killing. Me.
I desperately need to find MY place, where I belong, with my little family of coarse. Preferably with a little garden, so I can have tea and whatever I have baked in the sun. Oh and a place where my little Chucky would be welcome. Who the heck knows what is around the corner…..