Friday, May 24, 2013

Toddler G, Food, and The CONSTANT BATTLE.



I don't know how to feel right now.

I'm feeling a few emotions all at the same time. But mostly FRUSTRATION.

See I have a kid that likes food, no scrap that, she LOVES FOOD! She loves to try new things, and we enjoying feeding her as much variety as possible. And I love that she loves food. She is amazing.

One of her favourite things to say is "More" OR "More?" Nodding her gorgeous little head, and looking st you with the cutest and biggest toddler eyes. She also knows how to turn on the charm with a cheeky smile, to get what she wants. Now normally it is very cute. Adorable actually. But I don't tend to give in. If I know I have fed her sufficiently, I don't give her another helping of whatever it is.  

I know I feed her very well. It upsets me, sometimes, that she keeps saying "more!"

It makes me question myself not all the time. I have a constant voice over in my head:

"have I fed her enough?"

"Is she still hungry?"

I don't want to under feed my child. I have no intention of doing that too her. I want her to have a healthy relationship with food. But when I see someone handing her biscuits, lollies, and just ridiculously colourful junk food, I want to scream FUCK OFF, and slap it out of their hands!!! 

There are so many woman around her that have such a shitty relationship with food, I fear that she will learn this same fear from them too! There is no calorie or even DIET talk in my house. I don't give a fuck about IQS, Paleo, and Detox. Urgh don't get me started on stupid detoxes! 

I have NEVER been like this, I love food way too much to not want to eat it. I will know exactly what I'm eating from the night or even week before. I like to think about the food I'm eating, and I mostly, not always enjoy cooking it too. Even the shopping for food I love. I love seeing fresh food in all its abundance. Makes me very happy indeed. 

I'm a planner, I right down every meal for the week. I try to balance them all with lots of colour and flavour. I try so hard with the food I feed my family. I find G surprises me with the kind of things she loves to eat! The more variety the better. Toddlers get bored too!

I'm sure she will all of a sudden stop eating everything I put in front of her. I hope not though. Food is awesome! 

Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, we've have "junk" food, but healthier types. I'm very proud to say that my daughter hasn't had lollies. But she does eat chocolate, she actually loves dark chocolate best, like her Mummy. A square of 70% or 85% cocoa Lindt is her favourite. I see nothing wrong in balance. But I'm not going to feed my kid junk, for the sake of it. I enjoy making her quality things to eat, and watching her devour them. This gives me great pleasure.

I've been told to "let her go to town" on food, so many times. Let her get sick from it, and she'll stop the "More Mumma, Peas*?" I can't do this to her, this horrifies me greatly. Its such an old fashioned way to "deal with it"

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy. I have a super happy kid, that EATS everything i give her! Its so very rare. I want to be left alone is all. Can't you see how happy she is people?

Am I the only one going through this battle? 
WHY do I need to constantly justify what i feed my child? And, 
Why is it ok to question me? 

I don't say anything to people feeding there kids garbage! Its like the whole telling someone they are too skinny! You would never tell someone they are too FAT! So why is this ok?

With the weekend approaching, I know ill have a battle on my hands yet again with certain people. I'm so over it. I'm sick of feeling like the shittiest parent on the planet.

And yes my husband supports me 100%, SO so lucky.

*Peas=Please




14 comments:

  1. Not being a parent I really cannot comment either way. We were MADE to eat everything on our plates as a kid (sometimes sitting at the table for hours + hours) and as a result I overeat BIG time & am never happy until I am so full I could be sick. Clearly that's not a good approach.

    I wonder if you could hold back a spoonful of her dinner & then when she ask for more give her just this smidge more -- or is that then the psychological set up to always need seconds?

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    1. WHo knows Mel WHO KNOWS? Ive held food back, to give her that when she asks for more, and its not working! SO frustrating.

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  2. For starters how old is G?
    Max is 2 in June and is so random with what he eats. If let loose all he would eat it bad stuff in talking sugary foods. I see the glint he gets in his eye with anything remotely unhealthy. Bible been gluten free since towards the end of last year for energy reasons and have also realised the need to modify what I eat and in slowly trying to adapt max. I wish he loved foo like g that would make that easier!
    I know I don't know you personally, but you seem like an awesome mum- to be caring about this topic prices that only as a start! I'm not sure what the actual issue at hand is - comments from others, the way others give our kids foods we would rather then not or being unsure if you are feeding G enough. If she is healthy I wouldn't worry. My neice is 2 1/2 has always loved food and is pretty skinny. It's in her genes with her folks being the same! She is healthy and happy and that's even why the nurses at clinic say not to worry. So I would say u have nothing to fear there! Use the opportunity to feed her some super foods lol!
    As for others, if grandparents are the issue, which are the main culprits on our end, I explain clearly my stand (no Pepsi whatsoever dad and only one of that kind of Lilly/choc etc) I know they love being able to finally be grandparents with treats so I try not to stress otherwise too much. With anyone else, it's not their child so as long as its delivered nicely yet firm they need to respect what u say u want them to have. What if they were allergic to something?
    Balance I guess. I am a strong Christian and so even in the bible God said about honey to be balanced. Lol I know that's funny but in the bible balance is key and as you said same goes with food and all these things. We need to care about health but its not the be all end all.

    Hope I don't mind the long comment!
    Bel

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    1. Bel, thanks for the comment, it means so much having a long comment. Its very thoughtful.
      G is going to be 2 in July.
      Im just sick of being judged on the kind of food i give her, healthy etc. And sick of having to explain to people that her asking for more food, is not her being hungry, i think she always likes to be included. And if someone is eating she wants it too!
      Wow i never realised that in the bible that even God was taking about balance. I want to find it now!

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    2. I completely understand your views on food. I have a 7 month old and am very conscious that he eats an extremely healthy diet.

      He has however had a few spoonfuls of chocolate custard after he has eaten his veggies. I believe in a healthy and balanced diet. This includes the occasional treat.

      It's important as mothers not to judge other mothers. We can control what our baby eats but to judge another mother on what they feed their child is unfair. I don't think KFC nuggets is a wise choice, but I don't know another mothers circumstances, what their day has been like, what their background is.

      I think that we can all understand that a challenge of motherhood is the judgement of other mothers. As mums we can choose to judge each other, or support each other.

      I would hate to think that I am judged for giving my baby the occasional spoonful of chocolate custard. My baby is loved, healthy and will always have a healthy balanced diet.

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    3. Thank you for your comment Anon. I can completely understand the occasional junk food here and there, like I said we do this. But my point is that, im sick of people not respecting what I would like to feed my child. I don't want to be sniggered at for taking food for my daughter, or what i choose to make her. You would think it was poison!

      The odd spoonful of chocolate custard is awesome! i completely agree that there should always be balance. I eat chocolate or sweets or whatever, why can't my child?
      It upsets me when parents relent and feed kids rubbish mostly! Why? Isn't it our responsibility to look after them as best we can. Even if your poor, I have been very poor, and we still ate as healthily as possible, with the occasional cake mum would bake.

      But yes! choccie custard should be part of the diet. You can't and shouldnt expect to be anyone to be perfect. Life is to be enjoyed! And in my book, chocolate is part of that enjoyment. Whats a baby cino without the colourful sprinkles?

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  3. I think you are doing an awesome job and have a fantastic food philosophy.
    I've thought lots about what we give Orlando (solids comprise of organic vegetable 95% and then some lamb/beef/chicken/fish/fruit) oh and he LOVES yogurt, he has yogurt almost daily... I've wondered if that's bad?! Do you have any idea? (reply to me on Twitter I'm hopeless at checking blog comment replies). He has the lowest sugar content yogurt I could find. Ummmmm but I've seen CHOCOLATE freaking marketed to 6 month olds?! Like chocolate custard stuff?!?! Really?! Why oh why would you do that? I must sound like a PRUDE hahaahahaa

    I found a diary my mum semi wrote about me as a baby and apparently I liked the odd nibble of a chocolate frog at 12 months. That said, and this was the 80's when I was a baby, she made all my food and it was mostly organic. So bless her chocolate frog loving heart.

    Anyway, I rambled... I think you're doing an ace job. OH I JUST REMEMBERED.... a kid at the shops last weekend, around G's age EATING KFC NUGGETS in the pram... yes, yes... sure it was a shopping centre but it at least could have been a sushi roll or A PIECE OF FRUIT or something instead.

    Ok, I'm going now. Sorry for the essay.

    xox

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    1. Thanks sweetie.
      it absolutely does my head in when i see little people eating such rubbish food. Even if you are in a food court! There are always places to have yoghurt, sushi, fruit! EVEN A SANDWICH!

      But you know what! I was given these foods in abundance, every Saturday we had Maccas night, EVERY SAT!!! I can't even!

      I think im ok now, maybe thats why im a little strict now.

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  4. Just wanted to say the 'peas' gets me every time here! Cute!!! I'll read properly and reply later (I'm on holidays)

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    1. Thanks Sam, im looking forward to it! Have a wonderful holiday :)

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  5. I don't have kids but it's something that I think about a lot because I've seen what damage that some can do to their kids. I think the fact that you're thinking about it is great, I don't think some of these parents even considered the damage that they were doing to their kids! :(

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    1. Agreed! I think you need to at least consider them a little.

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  6. Oh I'm with you! My pet peeve is people giving my daughter junk food and then saying 'see, she likes it and you deny her'. Of course she bloody likes it, sugar is an addictive drug! Not that I'm against occasional sugar. Just like you I try to moderate her consumption as a sometimes food. My daughter loves food too and will often ask for more when done - I'm happy to keep giving her as much healthy food as she likes as I believe toddlers can only eat until full and if that's full of apples or other fresh food, that's fine. It's hard to know when they are going through growth spurts too, so they may be more hungry than usual! :)

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    1. I honestly believe she is happy with what she is given. I notice that she asks for more and more, around people that will hand over rubbish food!
      Shes a clever one my little G :)

      Yes she has had the occasional hunger growth spurt! And boy can she eat then. I don't mind feeding her till shes content, but when its chips and rubbish i get very upset with others for giving hers those, and not even asking me!

      Part and parcel of being a parent i guess!

      Thanks for your comment Christie xo

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