I have this strange habit/thing I do.
I buy or am given, mostly by the husband very pretty things. I then go on to save my very pretty things for a special occasion. Why do I do this? Who knows, but I'm sure I get this from my mum. She always thinks she isn't worth it. Recently I gave mum a gift, that I thought she would love, and she has been trying to re-gift it back to me since!
I have seen many women in my family do this, so maybe it's a family trait?
But I do know its weird. And I know that my relatives think their behaviour is weird too. Its all for a reason, we were without for such a long time, that I guess its so lovely having these lovely things around you want them to last. Just in case shitty times happen again.
I have beautiful perfumes including body lotion and soaps collection sets, sitting there for ages, till I think I better use them cause otherwise people will have to embalm me on my deathbed in them.
I also have clothes, shoes and jewellery that too get cast aside, except my engagement ring, to wear another time, or for a fancy/better occasion. Again why? And how often do fancy occasions happen, now with a child in my life?
I don't want to pass this on to my daughter, but I also don't want her to think this stuff is worth coveting in such a passionate way. I most definitely don't do that. Some would say I'm a major tight arse. I don't care though, I wear that label proudly. I spend where I want, its mostly food as my big extravagance, and I buy for my child of coarse. But that's pretty much it.
I need to learn to buy things for myself, sometimes let's not go nuts, and to let go of the past. The past is the past hopefully it never happens again.
I watched an interview with Kylie Minogue, where she was telling the world about having breast cancer. I will never forget she had on the most amazing diamond earrings. They were huge and stunning. Even the interviewer commented on them. Kylie said she will never again leave something for a special occasion. She WILL wear diamonds during the day happily.
Are you worth it? Well yes you are. Always. Wear your lovely things with pride people. You have worked hard enough for them!
We all have scars, and really crappy things that have happened to us. And as cliche as it sounds, this is our only life, and life is ridiculously short.
I used to think I wasn't worth spending anything on, time, money or effort. Being completely embarrassed when people buy or do anything for me. I still get like this now! But I'm no where near as bad as I used to be. I'm working on thinking that I'm worth the effort. At least sometimes...
Please tell me I'm not the only one hoarding all my good stuff?